Photo by Norbert Buduczki on Unsplash

The Idea of the “Sigma Male” is Bullshit

It’s cringe-inducing and will prevent the success you crave

Pete Williams
4 min readJan 15, 2023

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If you’re a guy who’s into self-improvement and watches YouTube, you’ve probably come across this term. We’ve all heard of the alpha and beta male — the top dog who takes what he wants, and the weak soy boy who gets taken advantage of by everyone.

There is an underlying truth to both of them, but the concept is wildly simplistic and falls apart pretty quickly.

Then, over the past couple of years, the idea of the “sigma male” has emerged. In case you’ve never seen it, the idea of the sigma male is a lone wolf who doesn’t need anybody, who retreats from the world and grinds his way to success in spite of the haters, waiting to show everyone who’s ever doubted him how wrong they were.

Guys, this is a bullshit, anti-social fantasy that is never going to come to fruition for you.

Look, we’ve all been there. We’ve all been screwed over a time or two by girls, by friends, by bosses and by family. It’s part of life. We hate it because it makes us feel like an idiot and weak. So you get this idea in your head that “fuck them, I’m gonna disappear for 6 months and come back a monster, then I’ll shove it up their ass!”

I’m not gonna lie. That kind of anger and resentment is powerful. You should absolutely use it to get momentum in your life and build yourself up. You should absolutely use it to make yourself a monster. But this idea that you have to go it alone, that you don’t need anybody, that you’re just gonna grind by yourself forever, it’s turning your back on the universal truth of being human:

We need people in our lives.

Tell me, if you’re just gonna grind on your own and take the attitude of “fuck everybody else,” how are you going to:

  • Meet, much less successfully date someone who will be your spouse
  • Become successful in your career
  • Have friends
  • Have good family relationships
  • Survive the hard times in your life

You can’t make it alone

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