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Don’t Do This on LinkedIn

It won’t get you banned, you’ll just look like a total douche

If there’s one platform that epitomises the term “self-aggrandisement,” it’s LinkedIn. It started out as a way for people to have an easier time finding work by putting their profile out there and connecting with opportunities, but predictably, it’s ended up like Instagram — chock full of douchey influencers, err, I mean “thought leaders.”

Seriously, the platform has become so insufferable I don’t even look at it anymore. There are many annoying behaviours on LinkedIn, but there’s one that really takes the cake, and makes the person doing it look utterly self-indulgent and clueless about everyone who lives in the real world.

I’m talking folks, about the announcement post.

The announcement post always comes from the senior leadership level of any given company. That’s because for the vast majority of us that constitute the little people in business, if we leave a job, we can generally expect to maybe go out for dinner or drinks with a small group of colleagues that we really get along well with. They’ll toast to you because you’ve probably made their work experience a little bit brighter and they’ll be sad to see you go.

After that, you change your LinkedIn profile to show you’re in a new position, and that’s generally the extent of what happens when you change jobs in the business world as an employee.

But for some reason, there are senior leaders who clearly live in a reality distortion bubble, because they think themselves and their work so important that they’ll go to the trouble of announcing it on LinkedIn. Oh, it won’t just be a quick sentence either exclaiming that they’ve got a new job and they’re really excited. Lord no. It will be an entire paragraph, of course starting with “I’m pleased to announce…”

Holy shit, please give us a second to drop everything while we listen to this incredibly important piece of news!

They’ll talk about the things they were proud to have done at their previous position and how they’re satisfied they left it better than when they arrived, before saying how excited they are to be moving to some other company where they’ll be doing blah blah blah and how great that is for the future.

If you’re one of these types and you just happen to be reading my little piece, I’ve got some news for you: nobody gives a shit. Getting a new job is something you tell family and close friends about. Announcing it to the entire world on social media in the manner above marks you as a self-important, egomaniac dickhead who thinks everyone is following every move you make.

While I’m at it, here’s a brilliant, live TV example of what I’m talking about. This just happened in Australia last week. I generally don’t mind Sam Armytage at all, but this was the most self-indulgent tripe I’ve ever listened to. Regular people don’t refer to themselves as “brave” and “fearless” because they know it makes you sound like a jackass. Those are things that other people might say about you if you’re lucky and really deserve it.

Here’s a really hot tip for all of you that have either done one of these LinkedIn posts in the past or are contemplating doing one in the future: if you’re such a titan of industry, a visionary who is changing the world, you don’t need to make any kind of announcement. Other people will do it, and the news around it will be big. You won’t need to proclaim where it is you’re going or what you’re doing, because you’ll get publicly asked about it anyway.

So if you aren’t on the level where people are actually asking about what’s next for you, It might be an idea to keep a dignified silence and just tell those who are close to you that you’re moving on. If you must say something on LinkedIn, a simple “excited to be starting my new job at company x” will more than suffice. Resist the urge to roll out all your achievements, tell everyone that you’re sad to go, or any one of those other self aggrandising tidbits that literally no one except for you cares about.

Otherwise I can guarantee that the only non-sycophantic reaction you’ll get will be a legion of eye rolls at your grandiosity and self indulgence.

𝘼𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧, 𝙤𝙘𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧. 𝘼𝙩𝙝𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚.

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